I’m standing behind C. watching her take notes on the scoring sheet on her clipboard. She looks completely calm and emotionless, but I’m not fooled – I know she’s seething.

“Don’t look down!!” The other instructor yells. “Keep your head up, and push him forward!”

She’s judging a trail show, which is an obstacle course, at a local barn. This is her 4th one this year – the organizer loves her, and keeps asking her back. At the last show, this other instructor asked if she could come in and call the obstacles out to her students. This sounds helpful, but it’s not – these are schooling shows, and if someone gets lost or goes off course C. will guide them and there’s no penalty. Plus all the obstacles are numbered. But there’s definite value in having a familiar voice guide you, so C. said ok. However, she said, you absolutely cannot coach. You can only direct them. She had to remind her of this twice.

So when the organizer came up to tell her this instructor wanted to call out for her students, I knew C. wasn’t happy. She told her that she could come in, but to please remind her that she could not coach her students.

That lasted….well, it didn’t last at all. In fact, she tried to tell her very first student how to get through the 2nd obstacle, and the student looked at her, annoyed, and said “I KNOW.” Apparently she was determined to coach no matter what. C. is conflicted – the instructor was breaking the rules, but all her students are kids. The thing to do after multiple warnings is to deduct points, but she doesn’t want to punish children for the actions of an adult they can’t control. She ended up doing each score sheet twice – once with deductions and once without. After a conference with the organizer, they agreed not to deduct the points, but also agreed that if this happens at the next show, points were getting taken off.

C. is a much better human being than I am. I would have had words.

The instructor marches around the course, never taking her eyes off her students – she doesn’t say a word to C. or me. If I had to describe her in one word, it would be severe. Her voice is shrill as she yells out instructions. She isn’t berating anyone, but she’s also not encouraging them or smiling. No one looks like they’re having a good time as she barks out directions. Certainly not their horses, who are all very clearly stressed and afraid. One horse is so freaked out it almost rears up. To credit it’s young rider, he didn’t seem scared or upset at all, just frustrated – but the horse was so clearly distressed I had to fight not to yell at them both to get the hell off the course. Not one of her students stroked or talked to their horses, even when she told them (as an afterthought) to give them a pat or tell them good job.

A few months ago I would have been jealous of these riders for being able to sit through everything – but today, I just saw a bunch of upset, fearful horses getting no support from their riders or instructor, being forced through tasks they didn’t want to do. The horses did not learn to be brave or confident; they didn’t learn to trust their riders; they just learned that when they are afraid no one cares and they get kicked repeatedly. It was hard to watch.

The last group to go was 3 more young students (under 18 but clearly teenagers; the first group seemed a bit younger) and their instructor. They were also nervous, and their horses balked, but they spoke encouragingly to them and petted them and told them they were good. They smiled and laughed. One girl’s horse did great until the backup maze – he just couldn’t get the turn right. She joked about him redecorating and gently encouraged him to try again. When he finally got it, sort of, she praised him enthusiastically.

My favorite girl of the day had her horse just stop in the middle of the 2nd obstacle. She looked at C.

“Can I get off and lead him?” she asked. I instantly loved her.

She did the whole course in hand, gently encouraging her horse and praising him after every thing they completed. You could see his anxiety dissipate as she walked beside him, and she didn’t seem the least bit upset she had to get off. It looked like they were having fun. They got through every obstacle, even the water one, and at the end C. praised her horsemanship. I would have complimented her but I was too overwhelmed with how awesome she was.