In my last entry, I talked about how Griffy was telling me he didn’t want to be ridden. Today was mounted archery practice and I was telling myself that I wouldn’t try to ride him.

I wasn’t going to ride him when I pulled him out of the pasture and curried what looked like a really good roll in the dirt off. I wasn’t going to ride him when I noticed that his hives were gone and his back wasn’t sensitive to being brushed anymore. I wasn’t going to ride him when I got his saddle and bridle out. I wasn’t going to ride him until C.’s husband asked me if I was going to ride him, and then I admitted that yeah, I was going to ride him *IF* he said it was ok.

I had a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t; I didn’t want to push him, and it was mounted archery practice day, and he can be a little spicy if he’s been off for a few days (and “spicy” is really not ideal when combined with sharp sticks,) and it was really hot, and….

Honestly I was afraid of the mounting block.

What if we were back to where we were before when he would never stand at it? What if what he’s trying to tell me is that he doesn’t want to be ridden ever? What if it’s me? What if there’s an issue I don’t understand/can’t see/can’t figure out?

I should have put more trust in him. He stood perfectly still & let me climb aboard.

As humans, we often let our own emotions, worries, hang-ups, and nonsense get in the way of finding answers. Instead of calmly asking “Why would my horse not want me to get on?” I let my feelings swirl out of control and made it personal and fraught with meaning that simply wasn’t there. His back hurt. Now it doesn’t.

Remember me talking about Talos not wanting to walk back to his pasture? I was convinced there was some deep, unanswered question he was posing and I was an utter failure for not understanding what he was trying to communicate.

Turns out his feet hurt.

I had noticed that when he walked out of his pasture, he would take a few steps as if he was stiff. I chalked it up to him having stiff shoulders. Then he got front shoes put on and didn’t do it again. And then he started walking back up to his pasture without stopping and I realized what he was saying wasn’t “I need time to stand here and contemplate the meaning of my universe and my place in it as a horse” but “Going up there hurts my feet and wouldn’t it be better if we just went and grazed instead?”

I really think the absolute biggest challenge for people when it comes to horses is keeping it simple. I’m not sure what evolutionary purpose overcomplicating every little thing served but it must have been an important one because we are absolutely champions at it.