I’m having an irritating day, so I guess it’s a good enough time to write about the demo this past Saturday.

I practiced every single day last week on Callida, who is absolutely the most saintly, wonderful lesson horse in history.

She’s patient, she’s kind, she’s calm, she’s forgiving of mistakes but won’t put up with nonsense. She took to mounted archery very quickly because honestly, she’s cool with whatever.

The Sunday before the demo, Sam came to do some mounted archery. Sam is a donkey. The horses all lost their ever-loving minds.

After some extensive desensitizing and assurances that donkeys definitely do not eat horses, I was able to get on her and do a couple of runs down the lane. I was proud of both of us, and feeling pretty good about Saturday. Not saying I had no nerves, but overall, I was pretty optimistic about our chances.

Saturday dawned, we hauled in the morning, got everyone settled in some nice big stalls.. No major incidents. Callida got some alfalfa, had a drink, and got glitter put in her mane. Closer to show time we walked around the grounds and she was still calm – interested in the noise, and people, but also the grass.

I was still feeling pretty good.

So, show time – we go get the arena set up. Move spectators out of the way of arrows. I hop on, and it seems ok – she’s a little amped, wants to look at stuff, but all normal. Overall, she is responsive. I’m nervous, there are a lot of people, but I’m reminding myself to breathe, we’ve been doing this a ton, everything will be ok. Everyone gets mic’d up….and then the static started crackling across the speakers.

Yeah. That was not cool.

The static scared her, which scared me, which scared her, and here we are in a feedback loop of abject terror. The archery lane, of course, runs right along two massive speakers that she will now not go near. I was thinking even if I could get her there, in no way on God’s green earth am I going to drop my reins to shoot.

I manage to get her over to C. I tell her the speakers are freaking her out. I am so beyond freaking out myself. We try to circle. We try to breathe. Neither of those are successful. I was two seconds away from saying I had to get off. But it’s one of those moments when you think, “Either I stay on this horse or I just accept that this isn’t for me.”

I’m nothing if not stubborn.

I stayed on. C. led her down the lane. It’s a testament to how much her horses love and trust her that Callida was able to walk down the lane. It’s a testament to how much her students love and trust her that I didn’t get off.

Microphones were done away with. Thank god our presenter is loud. C. had to lead us down the lane. I made 5 out of 6 shots. Without the static, eventually we were able to calm down and do the spear/sword work without being led, although people offered.

So we did it, I guess, and it was popular, but I felt crappy. I can’t fathom how people go to strange environments, have calm horses, and just do competitions. I fall apart at any sign of nervousness and I have no idea what to do to bring myself or the horse back down. If I’d been on Griffy or Talos there is no way I’d have been able to stay on, honestly. Especially Talos, because he’s so tall. I don’t know how to solve this, and I wonder if we’re going to be confined to riding at home for the rest of eternity and never have the chance to compete or go anywhere. I hate that idea, but I am not sure what else to do.

So yeah. I did it, I guess, but it certainly wasn’t what I hoped.